Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling is a very useful modality of help for couples who are experiencing difficulties such as repetitive arguments; feelings of distance or emptiness in the relationship; trust issues or physical/emotional affairs; pervasive feelings of anger, resentment and/or dissatisfaction; or lack of interest in affection or in a physical relationship with one another. 

At The RELATIONSHIP INSTITUTE Couples Therapy is based on the model of a 'Conscious Relationship' - a stable, fulfilling and passionate relationship between committed partners which results from both partners agreeing to consciously look at themselves and their relationship patterns.  

Shirley Bavonese, LMSW, Co-Director of the Relationship Institute,
discusses what happens during marriage/couples counseling:

A conscious, healthy relationship is NOT dramatic, abusive, addictive, or an emotional roller-coaster. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel physically and emotionally safe - and therefore want to get close and create an emotionally and physically intimate relationship that is built on an interdependent connection.

In a conscious, healthy relationship it is acknowledged that: 

• both partners are equally responsible for what happens in the relationship;

• excellent communication skills are essential;

• feelings need to be discussed instead of withholding them, withdrawing, or projecting them onto a partner in the form of blame or accusations;

• fulfilling intimate adult relationships are based on a realistic understanding of male-female differences and a strong desire to get along, rather than a focus on proving that you are right and the other person is wrong

In our Couples Therapy we combine behavioral approaches to relationship enhancement (such as learning how to listen and communicate, how to set appropriate boundaries, how to argue constructively and fight fairly, how to enhance pleasure and intimacy, and how to turn conflicts into solutions) with a psychodynamic investigation which helps both partners understand how their past experiences may contribute to the types of attractions and conflicts which arise in their adult relationships. In addition to couples therapy sessions, couples are given exercises to practice at home to deepen their understanding and practice of the ideas discussed. 

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) Regarding Couples' Therapy:

Length of therapy: at the Relationship Institute, specific goals are set at the beginning of therapy, and couples are expected to do homework to establish healthy relationship patterns and practices in their daily lives. Because of this, therapy is usually time-limited and ends when your relationship goals have been met. Of course there are some more complex situations which require a series of goals and resolutions that take place sequentially over time. All of this can be discussed and clarified during the initial evaluation session with the therapist.

Choosing a Couples' Therapist: the unfortunate fact is that many psychotherapists perform Couples' Therapy who have not been trained to do so. We have found through experience and research that the most effective couples' therapy combines skill-building with feedback and insight on communication patterns and processes, along with regular homework assignments. Couples' sessions where the therapists merely referee arguments tends to not produce any long-lasting changes in relationship patterns. So when you're choosing a couples' therapist, be sure to ask them how active and directive they are in their sessions. Finally, you should also ask your therapist how many couples' sessions they do every week. If it's less than 5-10, they are doing couples' therapy as a minor sidelight, not as a main thrust of their practice and they may not be as experienced in working with this modality.

Insurance: yes we can take many different insurances. To see if your insurance will cover our services, please call our Office Manager Jennifer Miller at (248) 546-0407 during daytime  hours.

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Couples can also participate in the internationally-renowned PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills) workshop "Passage to Intimacy" which is offered four times a year. 

Couples Therapy at the RELATIONSHIP INSTITUTE can be done with either a male or female therapist alone, or with both together (though with two therapists in the same session, it is much more expensive and can be difficult to schedule). Many couples enjoy working with a male and female co-therapy team so there is an equal balance of the male and female presence in the sessions. 

Appointments are available during daytimes, evenings or Saturdays.

To get more information or to schedule an appointment with either a male or female psychotherapist, call (248) 546-0407 or send email to:  

info@relationship-institute.com